Do you speak nicely to yourself?

You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself. So be kind.

Hello!

This week I want to discuss a topic I am very passionate about...self-talk.

Do you ever catch yourself being quite nasty with what you say to yourself in your head?

Do you sometimes think that you would never, ever, ever, speak to people the way you speak to yourself?

Self-talk is powerful, and it can be good or bad.

In my work as a therapist, I’ve witnessed firsthand the profound impact of negative self-talk on individuals’ well-being.

It’s alarming how many clients are unaware of the damaging narrative they harbor within themselves until we delve into this crucial aspect of self-care.

The revelation often comes as a shock. I’ve seen this firsthand when people stop and realise just how unkind they’ve been to themselves.

Unfortunately it is very common and some people will continue to ignore it.

However ignoring our negative self-talk may lead us to dismiss deeper issues of self-worth as simply a bad mood, without recognising the long term impact that these toxic thoughts can have.

But why is our self-talk so important?

The answer lies in its ability to shape our brain chemistry. Every thought we entertain triggers the release of corresponding chemicals in our brain.

When we berate ourselves with labels like “fat,” “lazy,” “incompetent,” or any other derogatory term, it’s akin to having someone following us around, hurling insults all day long.

Just take a moment and think about that last sentence. Imagine how you would feel if someone was following someone you cared about all day and was just berating them constantly. You would step in and do something about it, right?

Well, this is what you may be doing to yourself.

The truth is, we cannot escape ourselves. Our internal dialogue has a direct line to our emotional and physical well-being. So if we want to be truly happy, we must first strive to become more aware of our self-talk and from there actively work on making it more positive.

Consider this:

When we consciously choose loving and kind thoughts about ourselves, our brain responds by producing chemicals that mirror those sentiments.

It’s a profound symbiosis between mind and body, wherein our thoughts manifest as tangible sensations.

The crux of the matter lies in realising that we alone hold the power to shape our reality. We can’t control external circumstances, but we can control how we perceive and react to them.

A simple example is when I bumped into a pole in a carpark last year. It was my fault, I knew I made a mistake, but I chose in that moment to be kind to myself, just like I would if my daughter was driving. My inner dialogue was something like this:

“Oh, that’s ok honey. People have little prangs all the time. It will be an easy fix and no one got hurt”.

In essence, our self-talk isn’t merely idle chatter, it’s the architect of our reality.

In this instance my mood was calm. I managed my negative emotions and did not sit in guilt or shame about crashing my car. And yes, I do call myself “honey” in my head!

Remember, you wield the ultimate authority over your thoughts and emotions. Choose wisely, for the words you speak to yourself today shape the world you inhabit tomorrow.

Try this one simple thing...

This week try and catch yourself one time. Just one time! Where you are speaking very negatively to yourself and reframe it with compassion, as if you were talking to someone you love dearly.

Feel free to reply and let me know if you did it!

Until next time, with love and gratitude,

Tracey x